Thoroughly Clean
by LGTracy
Summary: Bayverse-CoM/Ellieworld plotline. Bumblebee just got a little dirt under his armor when he helped a stranded motorist. Embarrassing fun ensues when Ellie helps him clean himself. Rated M for safety.


**A/N:**_ So this was rattling around in my head and thought that it might prove an interesting story. Rated M because it's a bit too "dirty", (ain't I punny?) for a T rating. BTW, Dawn dish soap does actually work as a kick butt car soap and is used to clean wildlife after oil spills. Hope you enjoy. As always, please let me know what I did right and wrong. Tracy_

_**Disclaimer: **__Transformers is the property of Hasbro and whoever they've sold the rights to. Dawn is owned by Procter and Gamble and is used here as an unauthorized plug. No financial gain has been received. No infringement was implied or intended._

Thoroughly Clean

"You know Mike will have your head if you go into the house like that," Ellie was lecturing Bumblebee. She stood resolutely in front of the door with her hands on her hips in a very commanding pose.

The usually yellow scout chose not to point out he could literally step right over the fifteen year old to get to the door if he wanted to.

"So what do you suggest?" he asked levelly. He thought it would not be smart to laugh out loud at her demeanor.

"Come on around to the side of the new garage; there's a car wash there. I'll wash you," she promised as she led the way.

Intrigued, he followed her around to the side of the garage and found the basics of a car wash; a hose with an adjustable power sprayer nozzle and a grate in a cracked cement pad. He decided he'd talk to Optimus about renovating the space for their use for situations such as the one he currently found himself.

"So, how'd you get so muddy?" she asked innocently as she rinsed out an old bucket and checked it for leaks.

"Was pushing a car out of a flash flood when the road collapsed under me. Ended up in the river," he answered as he transformed into his alt.

"Oh? Did you save the people in the car? Did you get hurt? Have you seen Ratchet or First Aid yet?"

"Yeah. I'm fine, and no, I haven't seen either medic yet. Don't think I'll need to."

"But, you're awful dirty. And you were submerged, so I'd bet you've got dirt and gunk in your innards. I'll wash you as best I can, but you're definitely going to see Ratchet; he's on his way back from the base and will be here in a couple hours."

"I'll be fine. I just need a good wash," he assured.

"I'm not asking. Besides, I already told him and he agrees with me," she informed him smugly.

"Slagging com link," he muttered.

"Alright, so I apologize for this water; it's going to be cold," she warned as she adjusted the nozzle.

"Sweet Primus Spark! Cold? That's fragging freezing!" he exclaimed as he shuddered.

"Hopefully, it'll start to warm up the more we use it. Or else you'll just get used to it," she rationalized.

Mercifully quickly, she was able to get most of the heaviest stuff off of him with just the water which, thankfully, did start to warm up after a few minutes of running. Next, he saw her pull out a bottle of blue liquid and pour some into the bucket before she added the water. When he saw it bubble up into a delicious foam, he realized it was soap of some kind.

"Just what do you think you're using on me?" he asked accusingly. Ratchet was always concerned about the damage some human products did to Cybertronian bodies.

"It's just Dawn dish soap. I'm using it because there are no harsh chemicals in it, it's biodegradable, it's easy on both my hands and your armor and it can also remove gunk like tar and other petroleum based products. It's even used to clean wildlife after oil spills."

He accessed the internet and researched the product. Satisfied that she was well informed, he relented.

"You know, I bet Jolt would like this stuff," he told her by way of conversation.

"I bet. He is quite the environmentalist . . ." she trailed off as she felt the tingling in her birthmark reach a painful point.

"Ow! I'm sorry Bumble. That didn't hurt you did it?" she asked in concern as she shook her right hand. The bright indigo charge had taken her by surprise when it leapt from her biological fingers to his grill.

"NO! Um, no, it didn't hurt at all," he assured her. He didn't want to tell her how good it actually felt. He didn't understand it, but something about the electric exchange sent a delightful tingle through his processors.

"Sheesh! I'd like to know where that static electric build up came from," she wondered aloud.

"No idea. Don't worry yourself about it. It didn't hurt."

"As long as you're sure," she said as she renewed her washing with vigor.

It took her almost an hour to finish washing his car form. When she was done, he thanked her politely and started his engine to back out of the space.

"Wait a second. Where do you think you're going?"

"Well, you've washed me, so I'm going to my quarters to wash my robot form," he explained.

"You should just transform here so I can make sure you're not going to mess up the house."

Sighing through his vents, he did as she bade and stood before her. He knew better to disagree with her when she was in her protective mood, and she was currently protective of Mike's clean house.

"So, what's the verdict?"

"You're still filthy," she answered honestly with a critical eye. "I can't let you leave yet. Might as well get comfy, I'm going to have to wash you like this too."

Bumblebee turned off his vocal processor before he said something he couldn't take back. Between her electrical exchange with him, the way his spark almost felt too big for his spark chamber and the debris he felt under his armor in some very sensitive places, he had a really bad feeling about this.

"Um, how about you just give me the hose and I'll wash myself?" he asked helpfully.

She looked him up and down thoughtfully again before she nodded determinedly. "Alright, but then I'll get anything you can't get to," she offered.

"Deal," he said quickly as he grabbed the bucket of soapy water and poured it over his head and chassis. He used his hand to swipe the soap around.

"You know," he started as he saw her add more soap to the bucket, "I was thinking that maybe we can upgrade this car wash to a proper wash rack. That way, when we come back from particularly dirty missions, we don't have to go traipsing it throughout the estate."

"You know, it didn't occur to me that you might need something like that," she admitted. "I'll bring it up to my dad. Maybe we can ask the others what they would like it to include and then he can have Crabapple design it."

He chuckled at her purposeful mispronunciation of Grapple's designation. For some reason, they just rubbed each other the wrong way. "Well, I vote for temperature controlled water," he said.

"Maybe sponges big enough for you guys to handle too," she suggested as he dumped more of the soapy water onto his arms. "And actual sinks that you can fit both hands into," she continued.

"Branch in your elbow servo," she pointed when he didn't seem to notice. She was able to pull it out without too much trouble when he leaned down for her to reach.

"Private stalls," he dreamed aloud, "with benches we can sit on to get the grit out of the bottom of our footpads."

"They would have to be big enough for my dad to fit in too," she pointed out as she handed him another soapy bucket.

"Definitely" he agreed.

"Also, maybe we can have doors or curtains on them and a place big enough to set our armor so we can wash our protoforms," he sighed as he dumped the bucket down his legs.

"Alright, now if you lie down on your front, I can get your back," she said as she filled up the bucket again. "You should be able to just rinse off any dirt you pick up on your front," she advised.

They continued their conversation about the ideal wash rack; Bumblebee from a position of comfort and Ellie from a more practical standpoint as she washed his back and door wings. It wasn't until she got to his aft that the real trouble started.

"Um, Bumble, do you know you got stuff under your armor back here?" she asked.

"Yeah. I'll take care of it in my quarters," he reassured.

"Nonsense, some of this stuff is really wedged under here," she said as she pulled a downspout out from the armor that protected his aft port.

He hissed in surprise as the metal dragged across some particularly sensitive cabling.

She reached under the same piece of armor and pulled out more of the downspout and a piece of gutter. He turned off his vocal processors when he started to whimper. It had gotten stuck and she had turned it to try and wedge it out, not realizing that by doing so, she had actually pushed the piece against his aft port valve.

He raised himself onto his forearms when he felt a strange pressure against his chest plates. Instinctively, he spread his legs wider as she continued to fight with the piece of debris, too distracted to notice that his chest plates had opened to expose his spark.

"This piece is really stuck. Maybe if I turn it this way," she thought aloud, subconsciously rubbing at her birthmark.

The pressure continued to build in his chest, his spark glowing a bright violet as she continued to twist the piece of aluminum this way and that. Without conscious thought, he opened his aft port in some attempt to end what his processors where interpreting as teasing. His spark burned even brighter, pushing its way out of his chest in answer to the building tension in his body.

"Grr, maybe this," she muttered again as she pushed it back to try and change its orientation.

He threw his head back and arched his spine as the piece just barely slipped inside before it broke off and was removed.

"Oh, crap! It broke off and there's still more in there," Ellie grumbled as she wedged her arm under the armor and securely grasped the piece of gutter. This piece was much smoother and seemed to slide out much easier, catching only briefly on something before it was gone.

Bumblebee mutely whined in distress when he felt the piece of metal seem to catch just barely on the rim of his aft port before it was gone. With the absence of the intruder, his processors began to clear just enough that he realized his cod piece was feeling tight as the pressure built in his seeder.

"Well, that's the stuff I can reach," Ellie continued, still oblivious to the torture she was subjecting the scout to. "But there's still a bunch of dirt under there." She picked up the hose and adjusted the nozzle to its most powerful jet setting.

The feeling of the powerful jet of water along his aft port and splashing inside of it had his circuits buzzing pleasantly, building rapidly until the pressure in his spark was just too much to handle and he released with a roar inside his own processors. The energy left his spark in violet arcs as it searched for its mate.

Ellie smacked at her birthmark as it became sharply painful. She was too distracted by the momentary pain to see the powerful wall of violet energy racing toward her.

She came to flat on her back between Bumblebee's spread legs. Confused, she sat up and picked up the hose lying beside her head. She turned off the nozzle and approached her downed friend.

"Bumblebee? Are you alright? What happened?" she asked in concern.

He didn't respond, so she climbed over his leg and ran toward his face. "Bumble?" His optics were offline and his head was sagging down between his shoulders.

"Bumblebee?"

Still no response.

"NO! Don't leave me!" she begged as she instinctively reached for her dad over their bond.

"What's wrong Urielle?" Optimus' smooth baritone was laced with concern.

"I think I just killed Bumblebee! He's not moving or answering or anything!"

"What? What happened?"

"I don't know. I was just helping him clean up so he wouldn't track dirt all over the house and now he's dead!"

"Easy Ree. Ratchet and I are just outside the gate to the house. Where are you?"

"The far side of the new garage. Hurry!"

"Now what happened?" Ratchet asked in bewilderment as he rushed around the garage and transformed. His medi scanner glowing red as he ran it over the fallen soldier.

"I don't know! I was just helping him clean up, pulling stuff out from under his armor and running some water under it to get the rest of the debris.

"Oh Primus! He's leaking Energon!" she began to panic as the telltale pink tinge began to drip from under his pelvic armor.

Optimus scooped her up into his hand and pulled her closely to his chest. He shielded her from the view of Ratchet opening the young mech's aft armor as he tried to discover the leak.

When they saw that his aft port valve was opened and expelling mating lubricant, they guessed what had happened.

"Is that . . .?" the Autobot leader started over the com with his medic.

"Yes."

"But is it still . . .?"

"Yes. He's still got his seal."

"How does that even happen?"

"Ellie, where were you pulling the debris out from under his armor and what was it?" Ratchet asked the frightened girl. He desperately wanted to laugh at the situation, but the knowledge the teenager didn't understand what had happened gave him control over his vocal processors.

"Between his legs. It was a gutter and downspout, but it kept breaking off," she answered as the tears streaked down her face.

"Did I kill him?" she asked in a small voice.

"I'm certain when he regains consciousness, he will swear you did," the medic said with a chuckle.

"Regains consciousness? You mean he's not dead?"

"No, he just overloaded," he continued to laugh.

"Is that something normal?" she asked in confusion as the two mechs continued to roar with laughter.

"Yes. Very normal," Ratchet soothed between chuckles.

"Perhaps it is time we send him to Jazz," Optimus said over his com to Ratchet.

"I already comm'd him," the medic admitted, "when I saw the state of his aft port."

"I doubt he will be happy that we found out before he did."

Ratchet shrugged as he replaced the armor he had to open. Not that Cybertronians really would mind, but he knew the young scout would want some discretion given that it was a human that triggered his eruption.

"Here, see? He's starting to come around," the giant mech pointed out to his daughter.

"Bumble? Bumblebee? Are you okay?" she called desperately.

"Mmmph," he mumbled as he began to move sluggishly.

"Do you hear me Bumblebee?" Ratchet asked in concern, his medic training kicking in. He didn't want to worry the girl anymore, but this was the young mech's first overload. Sometimes, especially with someone the scout's age, there could be unforeseen consequences, like processor damage.

"Yeah Ratchet, I hear you," he groused, groggily as he pushed himself up to a sitting position.

"Do you remember what happened?" the medic continued to question.

"No . . . I remember that I was cleaning up and Ellie was pulling debris out from under my armor . . .

"Ellie! Where's Ellie?"

"I'm right here Bumble," she called from her dad's hand.

"Oh thank Primus.

"What were you pulling?"

"That," she pointed at the gutter and downspout that was lying next to his hip.

"Oh. Tough thing, wasn't it?" he stated sheepishly.

"You know you overloaded, don't you?" Ratchet asked him over a private link.

"What?" he asked back in alarm. "Does Ellie know?"

"Yes, but she doesn't understand what that means. She thought she killed you when you were offline."

Hastily, he grabbed the hose and rinsed his front off, making sure to discretely clean off the mating lubricants that now coated the inside of his pelvic armor. He allowed the hose to drop as he climbed quickly to his feet and approached her.

"Hey Ells. I'm alright," he reiterated as he stood in front of his leader. "You did nothing wrong."

"Promise?" she asked hopefully.

"Scout's honor."

"Ha, ha," she commented drily as she leaned against his face. "You're really alright?"

"Yep."

"I'll be the judge of that," Ratchet interrupted. "Come on. Let's get you checked out. Ellie comm'd me about your run-in with a flooded waterway and I want to make sure all your components are properly dried out."

The scout visibly slumped as the medic herded him off to the old garage that served as his office.

"Is he really alright?" Ellie asked her dad in some small bit of skepticism.

"Yes, he will be fine."

"Why does he have to go see Jazz now?" she asked in confusion.

"You were not supposed to hear that," the leader said in some embarrassment.

"Then you should have made sure the connection was closed."

He chuckled at her statement. "Yes, I should have.

"As to why he needs to see Jazz; it is a matter of Cybertronian tradition."

"You're not gonna tell me, are you?"

"No."

"Do you want to know the idea me and Bumblebee came up with about this place?" she asked to change the subject. She knew better than to try and change his mind when he used flat out 'no' as his answer.

"Yes, Sparkette, what idea did you and Bumblebee come up with?"

So she told him and was pleased when he seemed to honestly ponder the idea.


End file.
